Dark Paradise.

Lana Del Rey

I don’t usually do this (though a post about my love for Rihanna is coming up in a week or so), but I wanted to share with all of you (especially those of you emailing me asking how I’m doing) that I have found the PERFECT outlet for any voids in your heart. At least, she’s doing it for me: Lana Del Rey. I have to add, though, that I heard her song “Born To Die” this summer and was unimpressed and passed it off, but I was also working on something else and didn’t really pay attention. She has been on replay all week, and today a friend suggested I listen to “Dark Paradise” and, in a very unimaginable way, I smiled when I did. It’s cruel, so cruel, but sometimes you have to embrace the heartbreak. In all her glory, I give you Lana Del Rey.

This Too Shall Pass.

Hopeless Love

“It’s like you’re screaming and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, but nothing can save you. And when it’s over, and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good.” -We Found Love, Rihanna

Death By I Love You

Cisco & DT on stage together as Joker & Ivy

New Year, new things. I have invited one of my best friends, DanThuy Chu, who truly understands me, to be a contributing author to this blog. She has her own blog as well, which you can visit (ASPIRING DICTATOR), where she writes a lot about what makes sense to me as well. I think we both think alike and the post she is going to write for my blog is probably the one I like the most. “Death by I Love You,” such a silly concept and yet so true. How can “I Love You” also destroy you? But, it can. Here’s to a new year and new friends! 

Best,
Francisco

You Could Have Been A Part of A Masterpiece.

Thank You.

Happy New Year, readers! As the year begins, a chapter of my life ends. I really hope this chapter has a second part in the future, because my life has never had such a colorful chapter written in its book. Another letter, another poem, another spoken word piece that says volumes about my feelings. I also wrote this while listening to Spanish songs of heartbreak, the best ones, and so I took inspiration from them. Again, it is colored and highlighted because I hope it helps you read it like I would. This is for you, babe.

The Last Chance.

Take the chance.

“When you fall in love it’s kind of like you go crazy, and before you know it the whole world looks different and then you’ll do anything for the other person” – American Horror Story

This is a poem I wrote in the past two days while I listened to a lot of Spanish love songs, or, Spanish songs about the lack of love. They inspired me, gave me their lyrics, and gave me stories. They’ve helped in the past few days while I sit here in agony. I’ve highlighted and bolded and colored it because when I read it, I read it as a spoken word piece. Maybe you’ll follow it, I hope you do because the point is more painful that way. I still want to share it with you though. It pains my heart and soul to finish 2011 on my blog this way, but here I am. This is the first of two. This one was full of hope.

There Is A Child Inside of Me.

There, deep inside me, lives a little boy who never grew up, a little boy who never lost his dreams and hopes about the world, a little boy who has wishes of a white Christmas with a full and happy family, a little boy who has wishes of a family, a little boy who has wishes of a long life full of happiness and love. There, deep inside me, lives a little boy who looks at the world and sees its perfection. Lately, I’ve been thinking: There is a child inside me. He has to die.

I Know I Can Be A Bit Much.

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand. But I will always be the same person. It is just a bad day, not a bad life. I know I can be a bit much sometimes. I know I can get overwhelming. I know I can forget about the thoughts and feeling of others and think of myself first. I know. I am sorry. I know…

Happy.

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Despite everything, we are not always bound to be tied up between a massive black hole and a grey cloud. I apologize for not writing in a while; for a lack of a better explanation, I have been quite busy. My inbox has more than one request for new posts, and so here it is. I decided to write this one because, sometimes, we can be happy too. I used to think of happiness as a fluid mood that came and went, and never really as a state of being. Now I know otherwise. Despite everything, despite my Mom being away, despite my depression getting the best of me for an entire year, despite my father hating me, I too, can be happy. So can you.

Random Ranting: Society’s Fuck Ups

Equality

It has definitely been a while since I’ve written from the heart and mind on my own personal opinion. Lately I’ve written about my experiences with certain topics and research I’ve done in college but I haven’t written on my own thoughts. I plan to change that this summer and write more about what I am currently thinking, going through, doing, and pursuing. I definitely plan on stayin “on topic” as far as the title of this blog goes but like I’ve written before, I can’t simply be identified as “gay” or “a Harvard student” or “a Latino male,” I am so much more than that. Either way, I believe that you can find sexuality and personality in everything around you, and perhaps that’s the angle I’ll take on what I want to write. For now, I have been wound up with my thoughts on closeted individuals and their reasoning behind it. Mood state? Angry. Furious. People should not be driven by fear.

Human Trafficking as Contemporary Slavery

This past semester I took a class on Human Trafficking. I took this class very unintentionally; I had planned to take a different class to satisfy my “Societies of the World” general education requirement, but when my friends told me about this class, I added it to my courses without even looking it up. It turned out to be a very eye-opening experience. Before this class, I never thought of contemporary slavery. I didn’t really believed it existed, but it sure does. It was proven to me in more ways than one, including meeting a former trafficked victim/domestic slave. It is happening in our country, in every country, and it could even be happening next door. It is unbelievable how often and in how many ways this happens. The psychologist in me wondered time and time again about the mental health of these victims, and so I did some research for my final paper. This post is parts of that research.